Carry her in my arms

Sometimes in my dreams, my mother is still ill.
Last night I dreamt that my parents had invited for a party, but nobody came, except my old nanny. I got annoyed and told off my parents, that they should have sent invites earlier, and not just the day before. Then my parents went walking, I don't know why, but I did not realise they were gone until after some time and I started to worry. A friend of mine was in the hall, he told me they went outside. I hurried out to find them, and sure enough, they were just round the corner. They were in good spirits, but then my mother fell. Was it my fault? I rushed to help her, crying I am sorry, and I picked her up to carry her home in my arms. But even though she was really skinny because of the treatment she had been through, she was heavy, or I was weak, and every step was a fight to keep standing. I was afraid I would stumble and fall.